marguerite duras - from the
lover: "I often think of the image only I can see now, and of which I've never spoken.
It's always there, in the same silence, amazing. It's the only image of myself
I like, the only one in which I recognize myself, in which I delight."
"Very early in my life, it was too late. It was already too late when I was
eighteen. Between eighteen and twenty-five my face took off in a new direction.
I grew old at eighteen. I don't know if it's the same for everyone, I've never
asked. But I believe I've heard of the way time can suddenly accelerate on people
when they're going through even the most youthful and highly esteemed stages
of life. My ageing was very sudden. I saw it spread over my features one by
one, changing the relationship between them, making the eyes larger, the expression
sadder, the mouth more final, leaving great creases in the forehead. But instead
of being dismayed I watched this process with the same sort of interest I might
have taken in the reading of a book. And I knew I was right, that one day it
would slow down and take its normal course. The people who knew me at seventeen,
when I went to France, were surprised when they saw me again two years later,
at nineteen. And I've kept it ever since, the new face I had then. It has been
my face. It's got older still, of course, but less, comparatively, than it would
otherwise have done. It's scored with deep, dry wrinkles, the skin is cracked.
But my face hasn't collapsed, as some with fine features have done. It's kept
the same contours, but its substance has been laid waste. I have a face laid
waste."
"One day, I was already old, in the entrance of a public place a man came up to
me. He introduced himself and said, "I've known you for years. Everyone says you
were beautiful when you were young, but I want to tell you I think you're more
beautiful now than then. Rather than your face as a young woman, I prefer your
face as it is now. Ravaged."
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