. shakespeare's neuroses .

to be or not to be. to clean my room or to not bother. to fix my lamp or to say the hell with it. to drink tea or to let it sit on my desk and rot. to throw pencil sharpener shreds into rotting tea or to get up my lazy ass and throw it in the garbage can. to clean my garbage can or to not clean my garbage can. to clean my room or to live among dried-out crickets in an empty aquarium. to clean my room or to throw out soiled paint brushes. to throw out soiled paint brushes or to paint with soiled paint brushes. to spend the rest of my savings visiting vermont or to sit here and visit vermont in my head. to visit vermont in my head or to just forget about it. to listen to the t.v. blaring downstairs or to pretend to tune it out but listen anyway. to live in this house or to run away when no oneีs watching. to go to sleep or to stay up all night and go to sleep sometime anyway. to spend all night working on my paper or to blow it off for another day and prolong the agony. to worry about it or to not care. to worry and then to fuck up or to fuck up and blame it on them. to think or to let thoughts gather by the wayside. to take a walk to the bathroom or to take a walk downtown. to be tired or to not be tired, as if you can help it. to waste ink and keep writing or to not be writing and wonder what you could be writing. to waste ink and keep writing or to lie in bed and write in your mind and go nuts. to waste ink and keep writing or to go and follow the elk in montana. to listen to this mind chatter or to shut up. to shut up or to grow up. to grow up and then not know what you're doing. to grow up or to grow down. to grow fat or to grow a tree. to grow a tree or to grow yeast. to grow yeast or to grow beans. to grow beans or to buy bean-o. to buy bean-o and eat beans or to buy bean-o and not eat beans, that is the question.

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